About Me

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Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Did you know that we've been trying to have a baby?

We started fertility treatments last year. Even with the help of some pretty savvy reproductive endocrinologists (who swore to me that I had the ovaries of a 18 year old girl and that I shouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant again) I wasn't able to have another baby. Of course, we could try indefinitely, but the stress of infertility, the wear and tare of fertility drugs on my body and the financial strain told us to call it quits and look at other options.

I really want my family to grow.

So, we've started the process of trying to adopt. We're just in the information stages now. We're not great candidates for straight adoption because we have two biological children (which sort of puts us at the bottom of the need pile) so we're looking into fostering to adopt. Jay's aunt has three children who she fostered to adopt and I began talking with her a lot about it. I love the idea of doing this, though I admit to feeling nervous because kids in foster care always have a reason for being there... and I worry that I don't have the skills to cope with these special needs. Also, I worry that we'll have babies coming in and out of Bunny and Lila's lives, each time thinking that they'll be ours forever.

Presently we're in the information gathering stages of this. We are going to take the classes and learn as much as we can about it and then we'll see where the journey takes us. Maybe it will lead us to a new Holler... and maybe it won't. My heart is open and we definitely have room for more here.

I have to admit that I like the idea of adopting in lieu of making a new person. There are so many children out there who need loving families and we have such a great life that is welcoming and nurturing. There is little in life that I love as much as parenting. It's definitely my calling.

I think that this will be a long process, but I'm really looking forward to the adventure! Who knows, maybe there is someone out there right now, pregnant with a baby she's not going to be able to keep. And maybe that baby is being born for our family. Maybe it needs us as much as we need it.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Paula Deen, I Covet You.

Okay, anyone who knows me know that I wish I was Paula Deen. I don't want to be her friend. I don't want to be her daughter. I don't want to work at her restaurant or make cameo appearances on her cooking shows. No, folks. I want to BE Paula Deen. I want to look down the barrel of a stick of butter and I want to blow its brains all over a cheeseburger or a peach cobbler or a bowl of wild rice. And I do. Paula Deen is my favorite person (yes, including my children).

Tonight I'm making chicken stew (even though it's August and our highs are record breaking. I've got these new pots and pans that I have to break in). And to pair with the stew I made Paula Deen's Cheese Biscuits. I haven't had one yet, but they look Deenlicious.